1865..

I grabbed my overcoat, it looked cold out. Thought I might as well take a walk, it wasn't as if I was going to get any more sleep that night. Pulling up my collar, I started off at a steady pace, down the path I've recently walked a million times, but somehow everything seemed different tonight. Moonlight coupled with the lit torches provided all the illumination I needed. A highland breeze, sweet and refreshing, sweeping up from the fjords, offering all the company I wanted. The very elements around me betraying the feelings I had inside. The autumn sun wouldn't be up for at least another couple of hours, and as I headed down to the shorelines, I couldn't help but wish it never would. Signs of an early winter were everywhere, and as I looked over the Scottish countryside I felt nothing but a deep seating emptiness, the feeling of helplessness, as if I were standing on a cliff, and the choice was not if to jump, but simply waiting for the "when".
Right then I would have given anything to be anyone else, not ladened with the cares of the world, content in my ignorance and definitely not shouldering the responsibilities of expanding an empire. Behind me a multitude of camps housed over a hundred thousand soldiers - Men, fathers, brothers, but less than a fraction would be needed for the atrocities that lay ahead. There's a saying that goes "No one gets used to war", I say no man ever should. Your first battle ever haunts you, just like every one after. Hell on earth most call it, even sleep doesn't spare you from the carnage, the screams of dying men, the smell of rotting flesh, the very touch of death. Nevertheless this was our duty if not our calling.
"General, we've got a messenger from London, says he'll only speak to you sir", snapping out of my reverie and back into the real world, "Very well lieutenant, show him to my tent. On second thought, take him to the war room, might as well rouse the captains too son". The war room was a large tent right in the center of our camp where most of our considerable scheming was carried out, as I walked back towards camp I could only hope that our messenger brought was good news, but to be honest I knew otherwise. We were waiting, waiting for orders, to desist or engage, secretly most of us didn't want this fight, there was no honor is victory over women, children and the aged. The highlanders were simple folk, all they had was their land and their fight for freedom robbed them of their able men. We didn't want this but we didn't give orders, we followed.
"Sorry to disturb your sleep gents, thought it best you all be here when our orders are read". All three of my captains looked as if they'd hardly slept, apparently they were just as anxious as me. A young boy, hardly into his teens - most young men were drafted into the army, thus the Crown had to stuck to recruiting children, despicable, but not my call to make - handed me a sealed letter, "General McLeod sir, see I was given strict orders sir, they said don't you give this here letter to no one 'cept the general im'self, and sir I do's as I told". I wasn't a man of God so to speak, after the things I've seen it leaves you with naught accept belief in the devil but as I broke the seal I couldn't help but utter a silent prayer. I lowered the letter after reading its contents and I suppose the look on my face said it all. "Martin, James ready the men, we pick up camp immediately. William inform the calvary, all riders to be ready on my go". I was powerless, steeling my voice, more for my benefit that anyone else's, barely hiding my seething disgust "We attack at daybreak, no prisoners, we kill them all.."

TBC